Are you lacking motivation? Do you procrastinate working out because you fear the judgment of others? Do you not make an effort because you are afraid of failure? Do any of these types of thought processes affect your ability to obtain the level of fitness you really want? Try getting help.
Consider your situation. The people in your life you spend most of your time with are likely in the same situation you are. You think alike, eat alike, enjoy doing the same activities together, and you share the same values. When you attempt to drop some pounds you would like to get rid of by starting to work out and get in shape and they don’t share this interest, you quickly lose momentum because you lack a support network.
Aligning yourself with like-minded people, working together for a common goal, will give you the motivation and support you need to succeed. Following are some ideas about finding others to create mutually supportive relationships to help you achieve the level of fitness you want.
First of all, don’t be afraid to ask for help. When lacking confidence, you may be afraid to ask for help because you feel like you're bothering the person you're asking. You also could fear being rejected by the person you ask.
Let’s use our imagination here. You are at a club, coffee house, gym, school or on a plane—your choice. A nice, attractive guy engages you in a conversation and you quickly hit it off with each other. You really like this guy and hope he will ask you out. He tells you he would love to take you to dinner and politely asks for your phone number. You oblige and he happily says, “Great! I will call you soon.”
One, two, three days go by. No phone call. Four, five, six days go by. No phone call, not even a text. Seven, eight, nine, ten days go by and still no attempt by him to contact you. What is going on here? Pause and imagine for a minute before reading on.
How did this scenario unfold for you? Many women tend to think things like he’s not into you, or after he had time to think about it, he didn’t think you were pretty enough. Another thought could be that he has a girlfriend already or that he was trying to be nice but didn’t really want to go out with you. Did you create some similar outcomes? If you did, the key to remember is that you created it.
Know the difference between what is genuine and what is fake. Genuine refers to what can be proven without a doubt. In this case, what is genuine is the phone is not ringing. What is fake is anything you believe as a result of it, but cannot be proven.The things you create from negative thinking, worrying, and expecting the worst-case scenario to unfold are real.
What would you do in life if you were guaranteed not to fail? What have you thought you would like to do or try but never attempted because you talked yourself out it or convinced yourself you could not do it? What do you dream of becoming or doing but have never realized? What are the accomplishments in your life that will eventually lead to your legacy?
Your dreams and aspirations were not created in a vacuum. They are a part of you and come from your heart and soul, and what you do with them will define who you are. You owe it to yourself and to the world the full expression of who you are.
The biggest culprit in squashing ambition and killing your dreams is fear. Fear of failing, fear of judgment and fear of the unknown are most common. Fear of failure keeps you from attempting and keeps you from going for what you want. Fear of judgment can keep you from going to the gym, or anywhere else, because you believe others will think poorly of you…you lose. The truth is, you have no idea what others are thinking of you, so don’t assume the worst.
Whatever is driving the fear is trying to protect you. When your fear is failure, fear dictates your actions, which is not to take action. With no action, you surely cannot fail. Fear of the unknown drives you to make conclusions to events before they actually happen.