My Internal Image Blog

Health and beauty always seem to go together, as if they were the same. However, what is promoted in our culture as health and beauty mostly revolves around outer appearance and has little to do with actual health or real beauty.

Weeks before the broadcasting of beauty pageants such as Miss USA and Miss America, we see countless promotional advertisements showing clips of the contestants, with particular emphasis on the swimsuit competition. During the broadcast most of the time is spent on how they look in a swimsuits, and how they look in an evening gown. Then they whittle down who looks best and of those who remain in the competition we get to see a little about their talents in the performing arts. In the end we give the few left standing a minute or so to tell us little about what they actually think.

Commercials during the broadcast are mostly for hair products, cosmetics, plastic surgery and weight loss programs. On a subliminal level, the advertisers are saying, “You can look like them (the contestants) too.” However, the contestants achieve their looks through extreme primping and training. They represent a very small proportion of the female population and not the norm. Yet many women aspire to achieve the look of perfection and feel insecure when they compare themselves to those who seem to have it.

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These are just a few of the byproducts of the current "obsession to be perfect" epidemic that has swept America and the rest of the world. After lifetimes of being influenced by unrealistic images of women in advertisements, on magazine covers, in movies, and popular opinion, women have learned one, painful message loud and clear:

You're not good enough and you will never be good enough - unless you look a certain way.

New research has revealed that women of all ages are receiving this toxic message far earlier than anyone ever could have imagined - as early as three years old.

In a University of Central Florida study of three- to six-year old girls, nearly half were found to already be worried about being fat, and a third said they wanted to change something about their body.

Unfortunately, we can't go back in time to the moment when this negative self image began first got into your head, but through deep and concentrated work together, we can change your self image and your mindset.

How do you find Mr. Right? Consider this challenge to ask out 10 people you believe are out of your league.

This was a challenge I gave myself earlier in my life, with amazing results. I was in college and looking for love. I found I was insecure mainly because I was self-conscious about being skinny and believed the really pretty girls would not be interested in me. Then I thought, how would I know for sure, unless I tried? Fear of rejection was the only thing holding me back. I figured that it wouldn't kill me if I did get rejected, so I went for it.

I set out to ask 10 women out who at the time I believed to be out of my league. The results — two out of the 10 women said yes and we went out. None of them rejected me (my biggest fear) by saying they would never go out with a scrawny guy like me. Of the eight who declined, most said thanks but they had boyfriends or they just were not wanting to date at the time. One even told me she was flattered and “For what it’s worth, I think you’d be a great catch.”

My little experiment paid great dividends. Since then, I have never been afraid to ask someone out for a date. Eventually, I did meet the love of my life in college and have been happily married ever since. My challenge to you is to do the same.

Click here for some tips to get you on your way.