Do you know someone who seems to have a perpetual dark cloud hanging above them? You know the type. The negative Nelly who is a friend, co-worker, or family member who always complains, criticizes and makes excuses. Nothing ever goes right for her. When things go wrong in her life, she uses it as evidence to support her idea that if she didn’t have bad luck - she’d have no luck at all.
These people create a miserable atmosphere and it can become difficult to be around them. Here are some tips on how to make your experience with them more pleasurable and how to empower the people around you to be successful.
Don’t get sucked in: Let’s say you have a co-worker who hates her job. She complains about everything at work and starts in on complaining about your boss. If you're not fond of your boss, you might be drawn in to voice your dislikes and air your grievances. While you commiserate, it becomes a bitch-fest that creates stress and brings you both down. Avoid adding fuel to the fire and steer the conversation elsewhere.
Acknowledge and validate: Respond to her feelings instead of the situation. For example, she complains that she busts her butt at work and the boss doesn’t even offer a thank you. Offer something like “You feel your hard work goes unnoticed, that must be frustrating for you. Even though you're not getting a 'thank you,' you can take pride in knowing you do a good job and at least the boss is not telling you otherwise.” This will help diffuse the complaining and put a positive spin on the situation.
The famous Beatles song tell us “All you need is love," and other songs have been written about love in many contexts. Probably none more so than the pain of love lost.
Sometimes love hurts. When love hurts it can become scary. As you open yourself up to love, you become vulnerable. When you're afraid to take the risk, you avoid love. This keeps you lonely and isolated. You might begin to think that true love does not exist and you end up settling for less in your relationships.
If you're experiencing pain from love lost, take time to cultivate the love of yourself. When love is lost, it creates room for you to grow. Take this as an opportunity to develop into a more loving person. Be good to yourself. Renew yourself spiritually and intellectually. Reading a good self-help book can also be uplifting. The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz is a great book for developing love of self and others.
The greatest influence in your child’s life is you. With that in mind, the old clichés ring true, a chip off the ol' block and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. To place your children on a path to happiness and health, it is important to understand that what you model for them, as well as where you lead them, is crucial to their development.
Your relationship with food and the way you communicate with your children about healthy eating will greatly affect your children’s eating habits. For example, I once worked with a woman whose mother continuously battled with weight issues. She remembered how her mother would routinely tell her “don’t eat that, you’ll get fat.” For her at a young age, this created a fear-based relationship with food. She developed an eating disorder during her teenage years by becoming rebellious. She would secretly eat whatever she wanted and then throw it up. This way she was able to overindulge in the foods she was always told not to eat and avoid the weight gain.
It is important to note that her mother’s intentions were good. She simply did not want her daughter to become overweight. Her mother just failed to offer her an alternative for eating healthy and did not talk positively about food.